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Dealing with challenging behavior

Finding positive ways to address your child's challenging behaviors creates better harmony in your family (and gives your nerves a little rest) but is also helping your child learn vital social skills that will help her in school and in life.

Understanding young children's behavior
General tips
Aggression
Defiance
Inconsolable crying, temper tantrums
Sleep issues

The familiar Native American proverb says, "Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in his (or her) shoes." When a child is misbehaving, either in major or minor ways, it's easy either to take it personally or imagine that the child deliberately wants to be annoying or disruptive. Instead, if we follow the proverb, we try to understand why he or she is behaving in a certain way. If we put ourselves in the child's shoes and see things from his or her point of view, we are better able to help the child change the difficult behavior.

Here are some of the great resources for families from the Pennsylvania Key Early Childhood Mental Health Consultation Project, Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL), Zero to Three, and the Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Intervention. Visit their sites for additional tips and resources. Sesame Street also offers a ton of videos you can watch with your child that address emotions, getting along with others, and other behaviors.

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Understanding young children's behavior:

Five facts every family should know, PBS Parents
The Meaning of Behavior, Pennsylvania Key Early Childhood Mental Health Consultation Project
Understanding Your Child's Behavior: Reading Your Child's Cues from Birth to Age 2, Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning
Tips on Temperament, Zero to Three
Flexible, Fearful or Feisty: Temperamental Differences, Pennsylvania Key Early Childhood Mental Health Project

General tips:

Nine Ways to Reduce Challenging Behavior, PBS Parents,
Positive Solutions for Families: Eight Practical Tips for Parents of Young Children with Challenging behavior, Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Intervention, English | Spanish
Toddlers and Challenging Behavior: Why They Do It and How to Respond, Zero to Three
What Works Brief: Using Choice and Preference to promote improved behavior, SCEFEL, Brief | Handout

Aggression:

Helping Young Children Channel Their Aggression, Zero to Three
Responding to your child's bite, (CSEFEL).
Everybody Gets "Ma-a-ad," Pennsylvania Key Early Childhood Mental Health Consultation Project
Video – Sesame Street videos helping children deal with anger

Defiance:

Teaching your child to cooperate with requests (CSEFEL)
Supporting your child's cooperation, Zero to Three
Self-Regulation (Self-Control), Pennsylvania Key Early Childhood Mental Health Consultation Project

Inconsolable crying, temper tantrums:

When a Child is Inconsolable: Stay Near, article from Zero to Three
Everybody Gets "Ma-a-ad," Pennsylvania Key Early Childhood Mental Health Consultation Project
Video – Sesame Street videos helping children deal with anger

Sleep issues:

Zero To Three has a number of tips and tools on dealing with sleep-related issues, like getting a newborn on a sleep schedule; helping toddlers fall back to sleep when they wake up in the middle of the night, and dealing with nightmares.
Video– Sesame Street videos you can watch with your child about bedtime and naps.